Chapter 8: I drew the line (They just walked around it)

    My wife calls me at work to tell me how sorry she is. I told her that it was probably not a good time to talk to me and I don’t want them in my house. She said that she was in town and would talk to her mom when she got home. Her mom was at the house waiting for the phone company. I asked why the phone company was coming out and the line went dead. My co-worker was standing next to me laughing his ass off. "What is so funny" I asked. He has a step-daughter that is always in trouble with the law and is an old pro at this stuff. "There installing the line for the house arrest box" he said. "No frickin’ way" I said.

   Sure enough, the box on my end table was being hooked to my new phone line. Seems you have to have a landline without caller ID, call waiting and all that so they just told them to put a new line it. The line I ended up paying for (Since it was my house, I get sent the bill). My brother-in-law the great loser (TGL) pulled up in his car with its new 20" rims and tires with Meth-Head Betty by his side. I told the wife that they must have already had the go ahead to move in from Nana 'cause the phone company never moves that fast. They moved in around 7 pm and the system was already up and running.

   TGL just got another job and was off to start his new career in the cement business. That night TGL and Crack Whore Betty were off to a softball game. I called Bull Shit. I asked how she could be out crusin' around and going to a softball game if she was on house arrest and she said that her P/O lets her go to softball games. I asked why he wouldn't let her take her ass to work. That fell upon deaf ears. As they got into the pimp-mobile I told TGL to sell his new rims and tires to get a place to stay. He throws up a hand and says “I'm a grown fucking man”. I guess that was him telling me that no one tells him what to do. I told him a grown fucking man takes care of his responsibilities first and that his career as a professional moocher had just come to an end. In all fairness he was waiting on his dream job. He wants to be the next great white rapper.

   I told the wife and the mother-in-law one more time “NO FRICKING WAY”“I WANT THEM OUT”. I was then promised again by Nana that they would be there just 2 days and when my sister-in-law came back she would let them move in. I called her B.S. out and said “We’ve called her and she said she had no idea what you were talking about.” “She also said she would talk to her husband and he said that he told her that he would take the kids and leave her if they stepped foot on his property.”  Nana had no answer for that but then it seems she didn’t need one. In her mind her waste of a son comes first and as long as she has anything to do about it he will never want for anything.

   When they got home from the ballgame me and Snoop Dummy Dumb had a little chat. “I don’t want you in my house.” “I don’t want you girlfriend in my house” “I’ll be G/D if you throw a fricking arm up at me again.” “My best guess is daddy didn’t spank you enough.” “You have a job, rent a place.” I heard the “ain’t got no money yet” crap so we made a deal. He gets his paycheck and he moves out. The little fucker worked about 3 days that month.

   A week or so after they had moved in the Crack Head Whore decided she would make supper. I'm assuming this was in an attempted to get on my good side. I locked my dog in the garage and ran around the house calling the dogs’ name. “MOLLY, HERE GIRL.” “Has anyone seen Molly?” I looked the crack head in the eye and said “what did you do to my dog”. I looked into the oven and screamed “MOLLY………..NO!!”

   My kids have horrible timing. They came into the living room with the dog, so I took her into my bedroom comforting her the whole way. "It's OK girl I won't let her cook you or sell you for meth."

The psychological warfare had begun.