So I’m wealthy and didn’t even know it. ( Part 3)

OK where was I? Oh yea. The B-I-L got his new ride. A Dodge Durango that, with the exception of a killer Pyramid stereo and the color, was identical to the one that was going to be given to him.  Oh, I almost forgot, it didn’t have the 3^rd row seating like the other one so now he needs some money to get a junkyard rear seat put in so he can haul his brood.  Now don’t get me wrong, I have no issues with Dodge or Durango’s but when you are broke and gas is $3.50 a gallon why would you buy a vehicle that gets 13 MPG?

So I get home from work and the wife has the unsigned title in hand.  The first thought that crossed my mind was to sell it for my $1,000 quickly but then I wouldn’t be any better than my ex step-father-in-law.  The wife said “I have the title so we can put ourselves down as lien holders”. I said nothing.  “My brother also suggested that we put it in our name and he can just drive it.”  Now I spoke up.  “Are you serious?”  “He wants my name on his car so I have to carry the burden of inspections, titling, registration, taxes and insurance?”  “No thank you.”  “The first time C-W-B gets pulled over with drugs in the car she will tell them that she just picked the vehicle up from us and the drugs must be ours.”  So for now we will be down as lien holders. My guess is it will never get registered and they will lose it when they get pulled over and I will still see nuthin’.

A few days went by before we heard from the happy duo again. This time it seems that C-W-B was intent on taking the hooptie out to party.  The B-I-L tried to explain that they had no gas and no money but that didn’t seem to curb her enthusiasm for a night with the other White Trash Trixie’s.  Well he wouldn’t give her the keys so she threatened to call the cops on him.

 Now I know I have skipped forward a bit and some pertinent info may be missing so let me fill you in a bit. After the B-I-L and C-W-B split he went to court. He was charged and is on probation.  He is forbidden to cause her undue hardships or threaten her. Well I guess since she has that short leash on him they moved back in together and when she doesn’t get her way she calls the PoPo.  I have no idea how she pulled that one off nor do I know just who all in this freakin’ county she has slept with but it seems that it would be quite a few if I had to JUDGE.  Just sayin’.

So the M-I-L, who just happens to be visiting us, gets the call to come help her little boy out and off she goes spinning in the gravel.  When she gets there C-W-B is livid and at some point cold cocks the M-I-L. Now the cops are really called and when they show up the entire story is told.  The cops decline to take C-W-B in since she had kids with her.  WTF?  The B-I-L who is kids’ dad (according to their birth certificates only) was there to watch them. Nope, if they had a problem with her they need to file an ex parte in the morning.  I tried to tell them before to never call the night shift cops. 

Now I have a Durango in my drive and a B-I-L on my couch…………again.

United has a flight leaving tonight at 6:05 to Belize City. Cost is $940. Anyone want to buy a used Durango for $1,000?

So I’m wealthy and didn’t even know it. ( Part 2)

So one B-I-L is taking care of the problems of my other B-I-L.  I believe the stars are aligning and peace between Israel and Iran must be next on the horizon. All is good in the world. Then the text messages start.

 

Seems that Crack Whore Betty is not happy at all with the deal.  She won’t drive anything that doesn’t have a thumpin’ stereo and the Durango’s just isn’t cutting it. If he gets it she will start calling the cops on him for random B.S. things.  Suddenly the world and my life get thrust back into chaos.   

 

So it seems the B-I-L and C-W-B are back to needing the down payment on the friend of a friends car. I tried to explain will simple logic how this is destine for failure and I broke it down like this. (the first is a given, the rest are cash flow issues)

 

1^st. B-I-L is a bum

 

2^nd. C-W-B is a whore but not in the income producing way.

 

3^rd. Child support is automatically taken out.  We must deduct that money from any income gained.

 

4^th. Payment to the friend of a friends dude he knows.

 

5^th. Taxes and registration.

 

6^th.  Insurance.

 

7^th. Rent.

 

8^th. Heat, electricity, water ect.

 

9^th. Food.

 

10^th. Gas for new hooptie

 

11^th. Paying me back.

 

I didn’t even make the top ten on the list. How in the hell do I get my money back. If I do get my name on the title and I repo it I will be stuck with a POS and a B-I-L with yet another job lost (assuming he can get another job) and no vehicle. There is no positive outcome to this scenario.

 

It was about then that I was made aware of just how rich I really was.  See, I just bought my daughter a brand spanking new 1996 Saturn with just barley over 200k miles on it. Why if I had the money to do that I surely had the cash to help out my hard working and ever so grateful B-I-L. I tried to explain that the car I bought was purchased at a bargain price as it was in need of work and it would be a father/daughter project and………….Awww forget it, they weren’t listing. They just wanted me to shut up and give them the cash.   I said NO! MY money was not going to be thrown away like that so MY money wasn’t going to be used.

 

I guess if I had spent years watching Oprah I may have caught the episode that discussed the difference between “Our” money and “Her” money. See, I just thought it was all our money. After all I really do not have and “My” money so why would I assume that my wife would have something called “Her” money.  Well it seems that a $1,000 loan was taken from the “Her” money pile to pay the down payment on the new to them hooptie with ‘da thumpin’ stereo.  Now remember that C-W-B didn’t want the Durango that was for all intent and purposes free. She wanted this vehicle from the friends friends guy. So the mystery vehicle presents itself and it is a……………………………………………………………………………..Oh come on, You know I have to drag this out some more.

So I’m wealthy and didn’t even know it. ( Part 1)

I know it has been a while, sorry.  I'll be jumping around a bit so some of this will be out of order chronologically.

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  Seems my brother-in-law was in need of a vehicle.  Now I had tried in the past to help him out by selling him my hail damaged Mustang for what I bought it back from the insurance company for but if you remember he was in need of a true hooptie and I guess car payments are the thing to have when you are young with kids and can’t keep a job. Well he went through a few vehicles before he ended up at the point where my assistance was requested. Each was last seen on the back of a rollback with the words “Recovery Service” on the side. Apparently if you do not pay the note they take your stuff. Who woulda thought?

  Now it seems that it isn’t completely his fault. See, he has several kids with a gal who took him to court in search of child support.  That seemed to dip into his unemployment a bit and made paying the truck payment a bit tough. I understand though, it is hard to pay for silly things like rent, truck payments, your kids and food when the important things like tattoo’s, getting drunk and going out to eat at Applebee’s seems to take all the money my tax dollars are giving you. 

So as it was explained to me by the mother-in-law her son needs a vehicle to find a job so he can pay his bills. I agreed and the mother-in-law had a big grin.  Then I said “I wish him luck on that”. The grin disappeared.  “Well how can he pay for one, no one will loan him the money” she said. “You are right, guess he’s shit out of luck” I told her. Well the subtle hints began and lasted about a week. All of a sudden a miracle happened. A friend of a friend knows a guy with a car that he will sell him with $1,000 down. I looked at both of them and said “OMG what a deal. Jump on that right away before he changes his mind”. The B-I-L said “uh yea like I need the $1,000 first”.  I said “maybe you can find a friend of a friend who knows a guy that will lend it to you”. Somehow I was the ass for making that statement. I’m not sure how but it seems I was insensitive.  I beg to differ. This is me being insensitive. “FK OFF AND DIE YOU LEACH ON SOCIETY”.  See the difference? Anyway the wife said “He is willing to put our names on the title as lean holder”.  “Lien holder to what?” “Some POS that isn’t worth the $1,000 that he, I mean I put down?” “No thank you, I d rather invest in starting up a country and western night at the Apollo”.  “Well he can’t get a job without a car and no one helps him.” She said. “No one helps him?” “That’s all people do.” “Maybe that is why he lives off handouts now.” “Hell, I have a guy at work that rides his bike every day whether rain or shine.”  “I’ll go to Wal Mart right now and get him a 10 speed.” I blurted out.  Again, I’m being sarcastic and unreasonable it seems. 

  It was at this moment that my sister-in-law and her hubby stepped up to the plate.  They have a ’98 Durango that the dealer was offering $1,800 as a trade.  They would sell it to my B-I-L and payments would be handled by him working off the debt.  Now there is an answer to a prayer if I have ever heard one.  For once I was off the hook.

  But by now you all know better than that…………………………