Chapter 2: The move

 

  It was a sunny day, just perfect for a 700 mile trek away from the Ma-in-law. Since being married I had sold my '71 Mach 1, my '78 Trans-Am and my '62 Chevy truck. I now had no kids 2 little dogs and a killer 1990 Taurus station wagon.  I told myself that these sacrifices were what someone who is married does. We move on from the toys of our youth and into a more responsible lifestyle that is both supportive and stable.   I soon realized that I had lied to myself.  Seriously, a Taurus station wagon? What the hell was I thinking.

  We sat in the parking lot of the apartment that my mother-in-law had moved into a few month earlier and the tears flowed like a water fall.   The mother-in-law with her Wal-Mart mascara streaking down her cheek. My wife and the cry/sniffle/cry as she told her mother for the 3,000 time good by. Me with my tears of fear that we would be stuck in this friggin’ parking lot for the rest of my life.  I kept inching forward but with the mother-in-laws head sticking in the passenger window I feared I would decapitate her and be forced to haul her severed head with us to Ohio.  She finally pulled back far enough for me to unleash all 123.453 hp that the 3.0l Taurus had and go flying out of the parking lot and down the road to freedom.  Sweet, sweet freedom. 

   The trip was great and we loved our new base, for the first 6 months. We made new friends and discovered a life of freedom where we didn’t have to worry about the drama we had left behind.  The days were brighter and the nights were quieter.  What could be better than that.  Yes, what indeed.

    I come home for lunch one day and the wife is sitting in the living room waiting for me. "Honey, look who came to visit." “It’s my Mom.” The nervous quirky smile soon left her face as she saw the glare of pure hatred in my eyes. Since I was on patrol I got to stop by my house in the cruiser and grab a quick bite. Being armed with a 9mm gave me a wonderful idea. I could claim that she appeared to be an intruder and with the knife I would place in here cold dead hand I could claim self defense. Just then the wife's sister walked in. Too late, I had a witness.  But then I do have 30 rounds and a drawer full of knives.  Hmmmmmmm