Day 2.

 Nana was scheduled for surgery on Tuesday. My wife and S-I-L had to be there (I don’t blame them for being there for a surgery) and the school and bus company were made very, very, very aware that her kids would be dropped off at my house. VERY AWARE. I get home and do some dishes and begin supper. Soon I heard the pitter patter of Hell and ‘Yun and the cry from my son, “stop walking on the laptop, stop pushing each other, stop hitting……….(you get the idea). I figured that the wife and S-I-L would be late again so I made enough of my twice baked spaghetti with pepperoni to feed everyone. One thing I learned from Grandma Falcon was you always offered a meal. I would have fed them the day before but I didn’t have enough and if you don’t make the same thing they will fight and bitch because one person got something the other didn’t.

 Well, supper was ready and I had the twins sit at the bar in the kitchen. I wasn’t about to trust them with spaghetti and tea on my carpet and the kitchen table had the wife’s scrapbook stuff on it. All was good for the first few minutes. Each had a plate of spaghetti and was chowin’ down. Then they got quiet, too quiet. I heard an odd sliding noise and had my boy go look to see what was going on. “Stoooppppp” the boy yelled, but it was too late. Seems Hell and ‘Yun were playing crash up derby with their glasses of tea and just as the boy yelled, one of them won. The sound of glass shattering was quickly followed by a simultaneous “I didn’t do it.” On the floor laid one of my wife’s fine McDonald’s Coke glasses. On the counter stat the other, tipped over with tea everywhere, but victorious in battle. I also noticed that their plates were pushed around and one still had a pile of spaghetti on it. I asked “who didn’t eat?” and they both said “I ate.” I looked at the full plate again and noticed that all of the baked cheese and pepperonis’ were missing. I looked on the stove at the rest of the first container and the other one I had made for leftovers and my lunch for the next day and shook my head. One (or both) had dug through all of the spaghetti and removed, then ate all the cheese and pepperoni from the rest of the food. Neither one of the little turds would admit to the crime, each blaming the other; then the tears started. Seems accusing them of anything invokes this response. Mommy doesn’t want to accuse without knowing or cause hurt feelings by pointing out. Fkuc that; “get your happy asses on the couches.” One on one side of the room the other on the opposite side.“From now till your mom gets home you are in my sight while I watch the news.” “Yea, I’m watching it on the Spanish speaking station so you can’t even understand what they are saying; deal with it!” How the hell can 2 little kids find news from Mexico so funny? Those ****s laughed the whole time. Well, after a few minutes of that failure I decided to let them go outside. They jumped up and ran towards the door. “Hold on there **** and Head, grab those 1 gallon buckets first.” They looked at me, then ran over and grabbed them, thinking it was time to play in the dirt. “Don’t leave the water running between trips from the hose to the water trough.” 100 gallons to fill it, 2 one gallon containers at a time. Finally, back to the news in a foreign language and some peace and quiet. * Yea, right.

 

I hear the ruckus outside and call for the boy to go check on the twins but I get no answer. “Well ****, guess I’ll go check on them.” As soon as I open the door I see the twins and the boy running around like three idiots, screaming and trying to get to “base”. Seems the boy went outside and the twins went from hauling water to throwing water to all of them playing hide and seek. My son came running out of the daughters Durango and headed towards my truck (base) with Hell right behind him. Yun’ was nowhere to be seen. Heard yes but seen, no. I saw my 12’ V nose trailer shaking a bit and then watched as the rear dropped to the ground. Seems Yun’ decided to hide in it and as he walked to the back of it, sat the trailer on its ass. I still have some square bales in it and needed to shift some to the front but I figured as long as no one took another bale from the front, it would be OK; didn’t think about Frick and Frack Fruckin’ things up. Well, I guess Yun’ panicked a bit when he went tumbling into the rear door of the trailer and screamed. The other 2 found humor in his misfortune, which soon turned to an overwhelming desire to play teeter totter with my trailer. As this was occurring, I was hobbling my arse out as fast as I could to stop them, my own screams being completely ignored. I get to the front of the trailer, where Hell and the boy were sitting on the tongue, and tell them to stop. I guess me saying “STOP” translated to “Hey, without regards to my trailer why don’t you jump off the tongue so Yun’ will go flopping back down.” After the last flop onto its rear, the boy and Hell took off for the front porch while I opened the door to the trailer. Inside was Yun’, covered in hay and grinning like the Cheshire cat. He was ready for more; I was ready to strangle all of them. I stepped on the tongue of the trailer, placing it back on the ground, and shooed the little turd out. Now all three of them were standing on the front porch asking, “What can we do for fun?” I said, “Grab some sticks and joust cars out on the road.”The twins immediately started looking for sticks, I can only assume they had no idea what jousting was. Just then their dad turned down the gravel road; finally my 2 day ordeal was over. Nana was in a rehab home for 2 weeks and the buzz in the air is that she will need 6 more weeks at home, with people who can help her.

 That cold chill up my back, it has returned.